Secret Self-Centeredness

For a long time now I have had these grand desires to do great things with my life. I've felt a burden for so many ministries and strongly believed that I would very soon be my own boss. I can't tell you the number of times these things have crossed my mind over the last several months. However, God recently let me know that I was being selfish and self-centered.

If you would have asked me a month ago if I thought I was being self-centered, I would have told you no. I really wanted to be a blessing in this world. But God revealed the simple truth. I was making all of these plans without consulting Him. I barely prayed about them, and when I did, I set the tone of the prayer and basically told God how things would be.

James 4:13-15 is now in my heart.

13 Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." (NIV)

God told me that the desires in and of themselves were not bad. I just needed to humble myself before Him, lay all of my desires at the foot of the cross and seek His perfect will for my life.

I was also reminded of John 15:5.

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. (NIV)

This truth is also now firmly planted in my heart. I can do nothing apart from Christ. The ironic things is that I still have these desires. God gave them back to me as soon as I let them go. And now I truly believe these things will come to pass. In fact, things have already begun.

Allow God to search your heart, have the courage to accept what He shows you and the determination to change the things you need to change.

In Christ,
Clint Herman